The Taking of the Swine
copyright (C) 2010, Ernest Clark

A Laurel came to ask his help
"I cannot make the War.
Would ye conset to take my gift
In the back seat of your car?"

He had the room, he did agree
Although the gift was big;
For Laurel had, for Laurel feast,
A frozen butchered pig.

They probed, they shoved with might and main
But still it would not fit
Until with hacksaw sharp and keen
They shortened the legs a bit.

Long was the drive, and deathly cold
For he had the flesh to save;
To keep the piggie from going ripe
The A-C was set to "grave".

Twice in the land of the O-Hi-O,
He stopped for cars flashing blue.
"'Tis a pig I've wrapped, Mister Officer,
And its head in this sack here, too."

At last was the pig to its cooks made gift
Who were cowed at its size and state.
"How on earth will we cook this without a pit
When thawing we cannot wait?"

At dawn came the sound of pounding blows
By direction of the cooks
Said the squires as they chopped with sharpened axe,
"This is harder than it looks."

And the Laurels did feast when the Laurels met,
And their skill was a light in the day,
And the man got a scrap of pork for his pains,
And the pig got an AoA.