Author: eclark
Company: Orthogonal Concepts

Bad Bard Rehab
melody and lyrics copyright © 2008 Ernest Clark

Is your spell not very binding, do your bardic efforts fail?
Do too many take a pitstop when you start your epic tale?
Is the snoring not in rhythm at the climax of your song?
When you think they should be laughing, do you sense 
		that something's wrong?
    There is help for your condition once you but recognize
    That clarity and coaching can rip blinders from your eyes.
    Put your faith in a higher power, put your trust in me,
    At the Bad Bard Rehab and Rest Academy.

First we'll have you sit a while, put the cares to sleep,
Then time to start the easy stuff, sow before you reap.
You'll learn the do's and don'ts, such as you're gonna get the gong
When you open with a ballad that's twenty verses long.
    You'll learn the local accents to show authentic roots
    They'll throw money and motel keys instead of pitching boots,
    Ev'rything will be all right, just you wait and see,
    At the Bad Bard Rehab and Rest Academy.

<< need a bridge, preferably self-referential>>

    You won't be disappointed, and the first three days are FREE,
    At the Bad Bard Rehab and Rest Academy.