Mortis Connection
| Kvetch the Uncivil |
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Tune: “The Rainbow Connection”
Lyrics c. 1994 Karen Kahan (with acknowledgement to Katriana von Tyra) Why are there so many songs about dead guys? All of the really good tunes Are all about dead guys with holes in their bodies From arrows or axes or spoons. Verses abound about hacked, mangled bodies And blood spilled about on the ground. For some morose reason, we find these things pleasin’— The Mortis Connection, we’ve found. There’s millions of epics About bloody duels That span ages ancient and new. And too many dirges For heroes and chieftains And outlaws and poor suckers, too. Year after year, we listen and learn them And add brand-new verses as well. But what’s wrong with giving some ear to the living? The Mortis Connection—it sells! So if you’d be immortalized, Remembered for ages In tune or in song or in story, Forget noble deeds And acts, while you’re living— Just make sure that your end is gory! If you are stabbed, impaled, flayed, drawn, or quartered, Disemboweled, gutted, boiled into stew, Your name will live on long after you’re gone— The Mortis Connection and you! All of us Singing the praise Of your end— As long as it’s tragic… Repeat verse 1 |
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