The Pennsic Silly Song
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Lyrics: Torquil MacGillavrey Music: Take Her in Your Arms by Andy M Stewart |
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Every night at war there's a party going on somewhere, and Every night at war there's a bardic circle too, oh Every night at war there's a funny story so it seems, If you do something silly then I'll sing about you too |
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He was painted green from head to toe and everywhere that's in between, And if you doubted that he was his loin-cloth he'd remove. He said he lost a bet that day and this was how he had to pay. If you were there at Pensic you might have seen him too. A gentle knight who seldom drank was given mead at dinner then We went to see him in his camp, my Lady wife and I. As we stood to either side of him, he ran his hand up my right shin. I told him "try the other side", he stroked my left leg too. A young man welts upon his back up to an old chiurgeon came, To as if there was anything about them he should do. When asked why he would let her beat his back into this shape he said: "I don't know why, but at the time it seemed the thing to do." The fighters sat all bleary-eyed one morning coffee cups in hand, A lady walked out of her tent and headed to the east. We all sat up, awake at last, she learned a valued lesson. Oh don't wear patterned underwear and just a thin chemise. A master of the Laurel came home late one night and went to bed And as he took off all his clothes his sox would not come off. He called for help, a lady came, but by the time she'd finished, She'd seen more of her Laurel than she ever thought she would. A royal peer of high degree went cruising parties late one night. He walked into a campsite where the lady's breasts were bare. He stayed a while, talked a while, and by the time he left them, They'd drawn a salamander on his royal derrière. A line of ladies high and low, a duke, some knights, some men-at-arms, All waiting for a chance to see if what they heard was true. As each reached out, some did exclaim "Oh my God", it truly is astounding, The shape and firmness of his ass is famed throughout the land. A Knight fell down upon the bridge, a tuchuck underneath him, The chuck yelled out "I've got a great fat fighter on my back. He saw the belt and then he yelled "A fat knight's on me help me!" When hold was called then with a grin the knight said "I'm big boned." A Queen at war deep in her cups spied two fair ladies yonder. She asked another if they thought she had a chance with them. When answered no, she said "Oh damn, I like a lady fighter." "If you know some that swing my way please send them home with me." In darkest night, they woke the dead with weeping and with yelling. A lover's spat that would not wait until the light of day. "You looked at her", "You looked at him". The accusations flying. Then, "Immature? Oh no I'm not, it's you that's immature!" The war had not been kind to her with last night fast approaching. Her lover wondered if that night the might not have some fun. She looked at him and then she said, "Just keep it in your trousers." "Won't spread my legs for anyone until I gotten clean". |
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