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Master Cerian Cantwr            

There is a tale told of a new man in town,
A lean lanky youth with a chin full of down.
He liked a good joke and he wasn't fastidious -
The name of this Rokkehealden youth was Catfidious.
Catfidious Gunnerblast - Spoonwrangler.

He stumbled upon the old SCA;
He tried on some armor, authorized in a day.
He did not know naturals we despise,
That's part of why we wrote this song - damn his eyes.
Catfidious Gunnerblast - Spoonwrangler.

At his first event, sitting 'round by the fire,
A duel was proposed by Master Chen's squire.
"To Eastern spoon fighting we will test skull and bone.
This challenge I give," said Vargas de Leon,
"To Catfidious Gunnerblast - Spoonwrangler."

He was not the sharpest knife in the drawer,
There were others less blunt, and some somewhat more.
So he said "sure" not knowing what was in store,
And just how the back of his head would be sore.
Did Catfidious Gunnerblast - Spoonwrangler.

Now Eastern spoon fighting is a man's martial art;
Because all the women, they are far too smart.
Put the end of a spoon in your teeth so you lock in,
Then bring the bowl down on your foeman's noggin.
Catfidious Gunnerblast - Spoonwrangler.

The spoons they were chosen and the bout it began,
And each whacked the other as hard as they can.
Despite valiant effort on his part in the field,
The wunderkind lost and was forced to yield.
Was Catfidious Gunnerblast - Spoonwrangler.

The fight raised a whole lot of lumps on his head.
A phrenologist was called in to read them and said,
"The future in the bumps on your head here is shown,
No matter how far you go you will always be known
As Catfidious Gunnerblast - Spoonwrangler.

© 2001 Charles Grab
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