Polar Cow

Master Cerian Cantwr

Out upon the frozen tundra,
Where the ice and snow allow,
There lives a lonely creature,
It's the arctic polar cow.
Some have thought it merely mythic,
for it's seldom told of now -
But I'm here to give you warning
Of the perilous polar cow.

It's got icicles for udders,
A white coat as soft as silk,
There are snowshoes on its hooves,
And it does produce ice milk.
But it's crafty, wise, and cunning -
A ferocious fighter too.
The polar bear, he does beware,
when he hears that dreaded 'moo'.

For the polar cow's carnivorous,
Likes the taste of me and you.
To trap its prey it knows to build
A seeming safe igloo.
Then it pounces out from hiding
As its victim's crawling forth.
Eat an Eskimo from head to toe,
Battle cattle of the north.

So beware this baleful bovine -
Pernicious porterhouse of doom.
No, do not laugh at the dreadnought calf,
Lest your entrails it consume.
Stay away from mauling mavericks -
For my tale's no bull I vow,
The most hazardous of heifers,
It's the perilous polar cow.

Repeat first verse.

So do not jeer, this no bum steer,
But the perilous polar cow.

This page maintained by Cerian Cantwr, cerian@minstrel.com.