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No One Writes Songs for von Andernach


Master Cerian Cantwr            


Chorus:
No one writes songs for von Andernach -
Dietrich von Andernach.
No one writes songs for von Andernach,
Because his name won't rhyme.

Verses:
The Midlandish army's an int'resting lot.
The man who would lead them, just what has he got?
A name that will scan to this song, he has not,
And this is why we say that...

The sight of such scansion should cause you to fear
This polysyllabically named engineer.
It lands like an elephant right on your ear,
And from it bards do flee. So...

There are those that suppose that this song is satirical,
To claim that his name is a bit less than lyrical.
Have they e'er put a square peg in a hole that is spherical?
For until the day they do there's...

Teutonic phraseology should be verboten,
A barbaric assault on a poor poet's noggin:
Der Freischutz, gesundheit, unt vorse yet Volkswagen;
such things just can't be sung. So...

In comparison, Everest seems quite simply climbable.
This name that even makes "orange" look rhymable.
Not even John Inchingham found it combinable
With any verse he wrote. So...

From this malign moniker you can bet,
this sesquipedalian sobriquet,
Abuse like this song will be all he does get,
Or we'll just call him "Bob". Ah!

Ending Chrous:
No one writes songs for Bob -
Bob - Bob.
No one writes songs for Bob,
Even though his name now rhymes.

Repeat regular chorus one last time.

© 2002 Charles Grab
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