Carniverous Cheese

Master Cerian Cantwr

Of milk gone bad you must beware -
Of stilton, brie, and camembert.
Dread dairy devils such as these -
Munching, crunching, carnivorous… cheese.

If you feel peckish in the night,
Think cheese and crackers seem just right,
You will edam-ed your fate will rue,
For it will be no gouda for you.

Each cheese does hunt in its own whey -
Some stalk by night and some by day.
Limburger kills by smell alone,
And gorgonzola turns to stone.

Sharp cheddar chompers have a bite,
Swiss holes will strangle, closing tight.
You can be drowned by fierce fondue.
All such cuisine will turn on you.

Big wheels of cheese will run you down
And brick will split you chin to crown.
By fanged fromage you'll be pursued -
Gives whole new meaning to cheese food.

Malicious muenster chews to goo -
Those killer curds will turn on you.
To sour milk of maddened bent
We're all lactose intolerant.

Such curdled nightmares haunt our fears
They've stalked our steps for many years
That cutting queso of attack
Was from Whitechapel known as… Jack.

Of milk gone bad you must beware -
Of stilton, brie, and camembert.
Dread dairy devils such as these -
Munching, crunching, carnivorous… cheese.

This page maintained by Cerian Cantwr, cerian@minstrel.com.